


Batman vs Bra Shopping

by Vashti93



Series: Daniella Dahlia Wayne - Daughter of Batman [7]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24746797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vashti93/pseuds/Vashti93
Summary: Daniella needs a bra.  Her first bra ever.  Enter Bruce and Dick. (Takes place in between Crushing and Daniella Dahlia Wayne.)
Series: Daniella Dahlia Wayne - Daughter of Batman [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668622
Kudos: 3





	Batman vs Bra Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing and no one in the DC Universe. But Daniella Dahlia Wayne is mine.

Thirteen-year-old Daniella shifted from foot to foot before entering the batcave where Dick, her father, and Alfred stood discussing…something she really didn’t care about. They quieted as she approached them. They always did that - became quiet whenever she was around. “I need to talk to you, Father,” she stated calmly and unemotionally. The three gave her blank, unwavering stares. “Blood relation only,” Daniella sneered as she glared at Dick. Dick responded by raising an eyebrow. He looked at Bruce. Bruce nodded for him to go. “Alfred stays,” her Father stated.

“Fine.” Daniella would never admit it, but Alfred was the only person she liked…or tolerated…in this hell. “I need a new suit,” she held out her Robin uniform. Bruce folded his arms. “First you demand to wear a hooded cape. Now you want a new suit. Why?”

“It doesn’t fit anymore.”

“We just had it readjusted for you 3 weeks ago.”

“Well, it doesn’t fit anymore.”

“It fit just fine two nights ago,” Bruce argued. 

“Well, it doesn’t fit now,” she growled. “It’s too tight.”

“It’s supposed to be,” Bruce said through gritted teeth.

“Don’t insult my intelligence, Father,” she snapped, her expression turning hard. “I just tried it on upstairs. I can’t breathe in it. It’s restricting my upper torso.” Bruce snatched the uniform from Daniella’s hand. Living together for almost three years, and they still couldn’t stand to be in the same room with each other.

Bruce examined the uniform. “It’s fine,” he stated firmly.

“I can’t get in it. It’s too tight,” she took a menacing step forward. A step that usually struck fear in other people had no effect on her father. Alfred flinched. “Where exactly is it too tight, Daniella?” Bruce’s impatience with his daughter growing by the second. Daniella released a sigh and motioned to her upper torso…her chest area. Bruce blinked in confusion. “What?” he asked. Daniella released a heavy groan before drawing a circle with her pointer finger around her chest. “This area here,” she said in annoyance. Bruce continued to stare at her blankly. “My word,” he heard Alfred gasp behind him.

“At least somebody here knows how to use their brain,” Daniella said, throwing her arms in the air in annoyance. Bruce switched looked at the two of them. “Obviously you two know something I don’t,” he gave Alfred a soft glare.

“Master Bruce, I believe what young Miss Daniella is trying to tell that she is developing,” Alfred explained in his usual calm fashion.

“Developing what?” Bruce asked, desperate to leave this conversation. Daniella rolled her eyes. Her father was an idiot. Alfred face-palmed himself. “Sir, did you even bother to read the books I left on your nightstand explaining puberty?” Bruce hadn’t. “You learned nothing from your previous adventure for sanitary napkins.” Bruce was at a loss for words. “Miss Daniella is developing breasts, Sir,” Alfred explained to the lovable billionaire.

“No, she’s not,” Bruce said, “we all would have noticed.”

“You don’t seriously think that full-grown breasts just appear overnight, do you?” Daniella crossed her arms and stared at her father like he was stupid. “Does a man’s penis reach it’s full-length overnight?” she demanded. Alfred gagged a little. Bruce said, “Don’t say _penis._ It sounds…wrong…and weird coming out of your mouth.” Bruce sighed.

“And people say you’re the world’s best detective,” Daniella scoffed. “Pitiful.” Bruce glared at his daughter. He looked at the uniform in his hand, and then he looked at Daniella. And the for the first time since she arrived in Gotham, he really looked at his daughter. And she really was his daughter. He could see a bit of his mother in her scowl. And now that he was looking at her, he could clearly see that she was… _developing._ How in the world had he missed those? Maybe he should start paying a little more attention to his daughter. “I’m at loss, here,” he said. “What are we supposed to do next?” he asked Alfred and Daniella.

“She needs to go bra shopping, Sir,” Alfred gave his adoptive son a pitying look. He blamed himself, really. He knew an offspring of Bruce’s would appear one day – especially with the many, many dalliances he had. But Alfred was expecting a male offspring, not a female. He failed. Alfred considered this moment right here, a failure.

“But since you won’t let me out of the house unless I’m going to school or the Titans or patrolling with you, you’re going to have to buy them for me,” Daniella said with a smirk. Bruce held up the Robin uniform. “Alfred –“

“No,” Alfred interrupted.

“What!” Bruce exclaimed in shock. “Why not? You buy her period stuff all of the time! How’s this any different?”

“It’s not. But I believe this is an experience you and Miss Daniella should share. But since you refuse to let Miss Daniella out in public, you are going to have to do this alone…or with Dick.” Daniella continued to stare at him with a smirk.

“I don’t know her size,” Bruce said.

“The landscapers are still here,” Alfred said, ushering Bruce up the stairs, “one of them was a female. I will explain the situation and swear her to secrecy about Daniella. We will text you her measurements”

“It’s afternoon,” Bruce tried wiggling his way out of this situation again. “The paparazzi will see me.”

“Don’t pretend like that bothers you, Father,” Daniella said as they walked into the library where Dick was sitting. 

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“What’s it to you, Dick!” Daniella immediately snapped before stalking away. Alfred followed.

“What happened?” Dick asked. “Ooh, is she menstruating?”

“No, but you’re coming with me,” Bruce said. Dick followed, no questions asked; though, he was very curious.

* * *

Bruce sped through the streets of Gotham in his Aston Martin. “Woah, Bruce, slow down,” Dick said from the passenger seat. “You’re driving like a mad man.” Bruce listened, calming his breathing. He didn’t want to cause an accident. “What’s wrong?” Dick asked, a little concerned. Bruce didn’t answer. But when Bruce pulled into the parking lot of a well-known female boutique, Dick almost lost it. “Bruce!” Dick yelled. “What the hell! Why are we here?”

“Calm down, Dick,” Bruce gave his young protegee a dry look. “Daniella needs a bra.”

“No,” Dick shook his head. “No, no, no, no, no, no. C’mon!”

“And you’re coming inside with me this time,” Bruce growled. He angrily threw his door open before slamming it shut. Dick banged his hands against the dashboard multiple times. He growled before stepping out the car. “Let’s just get this over with,” Dick complained. Bruce looked down at his phone. “I have her size.”

“Her chest size?” Dick asked. Bruce glared at him. “I just wanted to clarify,” Dick exclaimed. Bruce groaned as he walked in the store with Dick. And wow. Culture shock! Both men froze as soon as they entered the store. “It’s so bright in here,” Dick said.

“These colors are hurting my eyes,” Bruce groaned as he took in the bright pinks, sky blues, yellows.

“I think we’ve stepped into My Pretty Pegasus,” Dick whispered.

“These colors…Daniella would hate them,” Bruce said. 

“Hello, may I help you?” a peppy sales associate walked…or bounced…up to the two of them. “Omigosh!” recognition coming to the girl’s face. “Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh!” she squealed. “You’re Bruce Wayne,” she whisper shouted. “And Dick Grayson,” she scanned him from head to toe. “You’re even more beautiful in person. This is my lucky day! How can I help you?” she asked, glee oozing from every inch of her body.

“I need a bra,” Bruce said, giving the associate a drop-dead gorgeous smile. Her giant smile faltered when Bruce said ‘bra’. “It’s not for me!” he said. “Not for me,” he repeated. “It’s for a girl I know,” he finished.

 _“Way to stick the landing, Bruce,”_ Dick muttered in Romanian. _“You totally didn’t sound like a pervert just now.”_ Bruce rolled his eyes. “Anyway,” he continued, “It’s her first bra. She sent me her size,” Bruce showed her the phone.

“As you can see, our store is color coordinated,” she said vibrantly. “Each section holds every bra size,” she finished with a blindingly white smile.

“Thank you for your help,” Bruce said kindly. She nodded her head erratically. “Please don’t call the paparazzi,” Bruce said with a heart-stopping smile.

“Okay,” the salesgirl giggled, about to swoon, “if you need anything or have any questions, come tell me. I’m Maggie. See?” she said, pointing to her name tag.

“Thank you, Maggie. We’ll take it from here,” Bruce said as he and Dick walked around the sales associate and began meandering around the store.

“What’s Daniella’s favorite color?” Dick asked Bruce.

“Why?”

“Girls like wearing undergarments in their favorite colors. It makes them feel powerful…or special. I don’t know. They just do.”

“I don’t know her favorite color,” Bruce said with shame.

“Seriously?” Dick stopped walking to stare at Bruce. “She’s been with you for more than two years. And you don’t know her favorite color? What do you two do in that big manor? Do you guys even talk to each other?” Bruce didn’t respond to any of Dick’s questions. “Well, there’s black ones over there in the corner. Your daughter is dark and violent like you. But red is the color of blood, and she is bloodthirsty. But gray is close to silver and all of the blades on her daggers are silver.”

“All of our blades are silver,” Bruce said with a deadpan. “Let’s go in the black section,” Bruce said with a sigh. The two males perused the section in total confusion. “Why are the underwear separate from the bras?” Bruce wondered aloud.

“You have to buy them separately. That’s how they make money.” Bruce gave Dick a confused look. “I went shopping with Barbara one time. It was boring. I complained the entire time.” Bruce nodded and began perusing the styles. “Oh,” Bruce said, “remind me to get a sports bra.”

“Can’t she just wrap them or something? They’re not _that_ big yet.” Bruce glared hard at Dick. “Sure, I’ll remind you,” he said, blanching at Bruce’s stare. “Hey,” Dick got Bruce’s attention from the other side of the bra rack. “Do you think we should get her push-up?”

“A what?” Bruce asked.

“A push-up bra. It makes…them look bigger.”

“Why in the world would I want my daughter’s breasts to look bigger?” Bruce demanded with a sneer.

“Fine,” Dick muttered. “Touchy.”

“Is there a difference between a bralette and a bra?” Bruce asked.

“I don’t know,” Dick said. “You’ve been with more women than I have.”

“Yes. I must have forgotten about all of those times I stayed up with them discussing bras.”

“Hey,” Dick said, “don’t take this out on me. I’m not the one who banged an assassin’s daughter.” Bruce rolled his eyes. “Do you think she’d want a bra with or without an underwire?” Bruce asked.

“I don’t know. How many types of bras are there?” Dick asked.

“This is worst than buying pads,” Bruce muttered. “A padded bra or a T-shirt a bra?” Bruce asked holding up the two bras.

“What’s the difference?” Dick asked, studying both bras. Bruce shrugged. Dick than picked up a caged bra. “What the…there’s so many strings.”

“What in the world – seamless bra? It looks exactly like the T-shirt one,” Bruce complained.

“I have in my hand a triangle bra and a sheer bra,” Dick said. “Wait a second…there’s different brands, too! This is way worse than the…” his voice trailed off. “Bruce.” Bruce looked up to see at least 20 different camera phones pointed at them, held by giggling fangirls standing less than 20 feet away. “Can we get a picture with you?” a girl asked shyly. Bruce opened his mouth to say ‘no’, but Dick spoke first. “Only if you can help us find a bra – 32B,” Richard announced to the world. Bruce could have killed him.

* * *

Five. Fucking. Hours. That’s how long it took. They had to get police to escort them out the building. Bruce glared at Dick as they both sat in the Aston Martin in the garage. “I didn’t…think or expect it to escalate that quickly,” Dick spoke softly and carefully. “I underestimated the number of fans you have.” Bruce fixed Dick with another hard glare before exiting his car.

The two men walked into the kitchen to find Daniella sitting on a stool at the island while Alfred mixed ingredients in a bowl. “There they are,” Alfred said. “We were beginning to wor…ry,” Alfred looked at the bags of bras. “She really only required 10 at the most, Master Bruce. She will continue to…grow.”

“You are trending, Father,” Daniella spoke calmly, holding up her cell phone. “Did you really buy one of each…again?”

“Well, now you have enough bras to last until your 20s,” Bruce said as he dropped the bags he was holding on the kitchen floor. “I need a drink,” he announced before storming out the kitchen.

“Um…” Dick said uneasily, not sure what to do with himself. “I can take these up to your room if you want,” he told Daniella. Daniella stood from her stool, grabbed the bags from off of the floor, “I am perfectly capable of carrying my own clothes, Dick,” she bumped shoulders with him as she marched past him. Dick dropped his bags on the floor and plopped onto a stool with a heavy sigh. “Something wrong, Master Dick?”

“Those two…Daniella is more like Bruce than Bruce would care to admit.” 

“Agreed.”

“Do they talk to each other?” Dick asked.

“Not if they can help it. Why?” Alfred began chopping vegetables.

“Bruce didn’t know her favorite color.”

“Azure blue.” Dick was shocked. “Well how do you know that?” he asked the old butler.

“Miss Daniella and I actually talk.”

“Huh. Azure blue.”

“Yes. I believe it is the eye color of a boy Miss Daniella fancies.”

“What?” Dick couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Last time we had a benefit here, I had to explain to her that having a crush on someone is not a disease. It is a normal part of-”

“She has a crush?” Dick interrupted. “Who? Tell me.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“You’re no fun,” Dick pouted as the front door slammed shut. “Did someone leave or enter?” Dick asked. His question was soon answered when Jason came running into the kitchen exclaiming, “Baby Satan has boobs?” Alfred rolled his eyes. “You are such an idiot,” Dick stated.

“When did this happen? Are we sure we’re okay with this?”


End file.
